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Miracle #571

I am writing this from my bathroom floor. I have been crying for 52 minutes. Not the cute, dainty, just pass me a tissue, cry. Full flood gate opening body sobs snot drool tears more tears can’t stop can’t stop can’t stop.

Last night I was dumped by someone I wasn’t even dating. Can you even be dumped by someone you aren’t dating? I begin to wonder if Urban Dictionary even has the word for what the hell just happened. I was completely blindsided of course, though I can’t say I blame him.

See, there are no rules when it comes to dating not dating no official title want something more don’t want something more stay where you are come closer touch me know me god please stay the fuck away know me see me love me.

There are no clear guides as to how you are supposed to navigate this.

As I am sitting in my self-pity, replaying last night over and over every conversation every moment that led up to this very moment of me on my bathroom floor, I asked the Universe for some guidance.

I drew a card from my beautiful Find Your Light oracle deck and low and behold I drew an angel with an, “I will” statement.

I Will Heal.

My dog of course joins me in the bathroom and we invent a new game. He gets in the bathtub, drops me a ball from behind the curtain and I toss it back over the rod.

It makes me laugh.

Full body laughs.

It makes me cry.

Full body cries.

We continue like this.

My best friend sends me a Marco Polo talking about coincidences and our plans for our reunited future.

Full body laughs.

Full body cries.

Another friend texted me with the loaded question of, “How are you doing?”

Full body laughs.

Full body cries.

My mom texted me that they sold their house in the week since I was last there.

Full body laughs.

Full body cries.

Said dumper asked if we could talk.

It’s been a weird morning and it’s only 11:11.

All these things I need to heal.

I need to heal.

I will heal.

I can heal.

Yes. I very much need to talk.