Constellations

April 8, 2020

Summer 2010. 

 

I would wait all day for the sun to disappear so I could bathe under the light of the stars with my loved ones.

In the middle of the country the sky would turn so dark, so pure and empty, it was amazing that it could ever be anything else.  

I enjoyed finding the mythological constellations someone else spent a lot more time imaginarily mapping out for us. 

The Big and Little Dipper. Orion’s Belt. Leo.  

It was on those nights I could feel the entire vastness of the universe.

I felt small but hopeful that my life path, my purpose, might be written up there, if I just looked hard and long enough.  

I couldn’t stop waiting for the stars to turn up.  

 

New Years 2020. 

 

I wait all day so I can spend the night running under the stars by myself and group full of strangers, no one at the finish line.

The energy is pure and fierce as I run out of the woods and into a life I believe could be anything else.  

No longer do I wait for summer to find light within the darkness and I no longer believe my answers are already up there. 

I’ve been collecting little stars, to add to my own sky and I will map my own constellations. 

There will be nothing else mapped out but a vast story of a girl that allowed herself to live and love fully.  

I feel powerful in knowing there will be these little moments of time I will continue to light up my sky with. 

I can’t stop waiting for life to turn up. 

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